Noticing

Recently I read The Fault in Our Stars for the third time (because I never get tired of that book). I really believe in the value of reading books multiple times, for the same reason you can see a movie multiple times or visit a cool place multiple times. Every time you do, you start noticing new things that you didn't see or appreciate before.

Ironically, the thing I noticed the most about this read-through was the theme of noticing. Hazel's dad says at one point, "I believe the universe wants to be noticed." Over and over again, this theme shows up in extremely subtle ways. Even as Hazel and Augustus ponder the purpose of human consciousness, Hazel pursues the philosophy of "walking lightly on the earth" and taking as much of the world in as she can during her short life. Whether she feels indebted or simply blessed, she takes the time to notice things. She notices the stars in her champagne and the shadows of the tree branches and her own feelings as they tumble within her.

Last Thursday evening I found myself left in a building with nothing to do for an hour while I waited for my sister. At first I was worried about being bored, but before long I found it refreshing to have nothing to do for once. I'm so used to worrying about homework or going to some social engagement or answering emails that I forget how important it is to slow down. Sure, I have down time at home, but even then I try to keep myself entertained, and there's always the threat of more work to do. This was different. I had no choice but to pause life for a while.

So I practiced noticing. I wandered the hallways, trying to remember what was behind each door, listening to the distant sound of rehearsing musicians and clanking dessert dishes. I walked down hidden staircases and read the labels on a dozen cardboard boxes. I observed the darkened hallways as much as the ones that were lit and bustling with visitors.

Was it extraordinary? No, but it was enjoyable, and interesting. I tend to build strong relationships with physical places, and that was more true than ever on this evening. If it's true that the universe is biased toward consciousness, as Hazel's dad so neatly put it, I seemed to get a taste of the rewarding nature of noticing. It's worthwhile.